At the age of 25, I was informed that my fiancé had been stamped with a terminal, Stage 4 stomach cancer diagnosis. He was given 10 months max to live, with treatment, and a few months without. We decided to charge into battle with the spirit of Spartan warriors against this disease (he has always been a fighter).
A year later, which was also three weeks short of our 7th year anniversary, his body eventually deteriorated and he left me with a hollow heart as he graduated from this life.
Yet in the midst of all despair, he also left me with his last gift. This precious gift was my first exposure to the experiential concept of Death, which later catapulted me into an expansion beyond ways I could comprehend.
I had since been divinely pushed onto a journey of rebirth, self-healing, self-discovery, personal growth and spiritual transformation. During this time, I was hit with a full-blown quarter-life crisis, and drowned in bouts of anger, sadness, emptiness, guilt, and depression. I began questioning life, God, my sanity, and everything under the moon. I looked to the wisdom passed down to us by ancient sages, philosophers, and religious icons for answers about death, and whether life after death exists.
What I’ve discovered was:
- Life after death certainly exists
- As a fully-developed society with a track-record of technological, scientific, and medical breakthroughs, we are still infantile in our ways of dealing with events that involve the human side of things, such as our emotions, or having to empathize with others, and with the topic of death
- The bookshelves and Internet are filled with countless advice on dating, sex, self-development, productivity, healthy lifestyles, travel, and making money, (while there is nothing wrong with these topics), only a tiny fraction of guidance is focused on death, grieving, and healing
Why? Because everyone is afraid of death. Death, grief, and widowhood are topics considered taboo by our society. We are afraid to talk about death, afraid to walk near the dying, afraid of “catching the cooties” from any widows or widowers.
If you have recently lost your spouse at a relatively young age, you might have felt as if a part of your identity has been buried along with him or her in the heart of the grounds. Or it might have been a few years since your loved one returned to Spirit, but you are still tortured by grief, especially during those special days, and around Holidays. Just know that you are not alone. Death is a natural cycle of life.
I was once in your shoes – lost, empty, alone, confused, depressed, angry, and filled with sorrow. I have even considered suicide. Life simply felt meaningless without him.
But after an excruciating period of considerable and sincere self-work, I can confidently say that I am no longer plagued or triggered by grief. I am now able to savor 7 years worth of our sweet memories without feeling overwhelmed with grief. I can enjoy our songs while driving without having to pull over because my streaming tears were obscuring my vision. I can now visit places we frequented that held a special meaning to us, with as much love and joy as when we had first fell in love.
The emptiness I felt during this time has in fact, allowed for a deeper love to emerge.
And I have come back after what seemed like an impossible journey to heal and to find peace and joy, to tell you that it’s all achievable by anyone!
Start your journey here – I will be with you every step of the way.